During a recent bra fitting, the perky little salesgirl pronounced my size as a ’38 long.’ Well, that’s hitting a bit below the belt, I replied. “Not yet, but close,” said the little trollop. It was the last thing she…
The founder of WestJet, Clive Beddoe is embracing life, Pumpkins. He told the Wall Street Journal that “The loss of several friends in recent years makes one very aware of the frailty of life”. And unless you’re still young and…
Calin, Harper and Obama are all over China like a belly on a Buddha. Whether it’s Quantum de-porting itself to Shanghai or AC tying its silk sky hopes on Air China, Asia Pacific is the hemisphere du jour. And…
Interpol has warned CLIA that jihadis “have been travelling on cruise ships”. It just goes to show you that cruising really does have universal appeal, Pumpkins. Although apparently it’s a means to an end for those hearing the call…
You can never be too skinny – Unless you’re an airline seat, dahrlings. Honestly, Pumpkins, the anorexic benches we are being dumped into only compound the horror that has become air travel. A bony knee in my back is…
You hear rumours, Pumpkins, but I’ve never actually met a real spontaneous slapper. Pouring wine for you one minute, punching you in the head the next. It’s such a confusing mating process that many women are struck dumb. And…
“YOW is operational and heightened vigilance is being exercised. The airport is encouraging individuals to report suspicious activity immediately.” Suspicious activity like running down the hall with a rifle? I’m certain I would report that pretty much immediately –…
Well, Pumpkins, it’s happened. The Big Apple has legislated a nibble bill declaring yogurt the official snack of New York state. A senator who helped pass the dairy declaration of ascendance said: “Today’s vote to designate yogurt as the…
Finding good staff is a constant struggle, dahrlings. I know. Young ones don’t care. Old ones are … old. Fear not. New staffing strategies are emerging daily. Take Apple and Facebook, for instance. In order to attract best of…
How many more keel laying ceremonies are we to be subjected to, Pumpkins? There was a time when that was news. A rare occasion to be celebrated. Like when one of the dinkettes here got laid (Talk about a…
