They like us! They really like us! Well, it’s too late for that, dahrlings. You don’t cut my grass and then, 20 years later, come back for my bush. That ship has sailed, bucko! (No really. It has. A balding…
A loud “duh!” could be heard along Ottawa’s corridors yesterday, dahrlings, as the judges at the Canadian Transportation Agency dusted off their mandate and figured out they are supposed to go after SkyGreece. [The last order they gave was simply…
Good lord, Pumpkins. How many times have you heard that sorry ass alibi? “I can’t help It!” It’s such a lame excuse, it needs an excuse for the excuse. The last time I caught my husband with his pants around…
It’s a tragic tale, Pumpkins, of 2 star-crossed lovers. Overcome by passion as they visit a picturesque French castle off the coast of Normandy, the couple shed their inhibitions, discard their clothing, and make love on the battlements. Who hasn’t…
I love a C word as much as the next news hog, but good golly, Pumpkins, this summer’s travel headlines could use with a wider alphabet. The 3 C’s dominating (enough mistress!) the news — Crystal Cruises and Cuba –…
Most cruise ship stewards you just want to pack up and take home. Am I right, Pumpkins? Is it the ones who’ve been below deck too long who succumb to predatory urges? How exactly do they think they’ll get away…
Emirates just announced that Jennifer Aniston is to be their ‘face’. I would have picked a better body part, Pumpkins. Airlines have had many mascots over the years, but never a chin. (Apparently Reese Witherspoon’s was unavailable for a mere…
Goodness, Pumpkins. I just read that in memory of a dear old lion the airlines have decided to ban together and ban trophy wives! Hear! Hear! Those women have caused more trouble than a camcorder at a hospitality suite and…
In the time it takes for a corporate air travel RFP to grind its way through the machine, a human life can be conceived (34 seconds), gestated (40 weeks) and delivered! That’s way too freakin’ long pumpkins. But, that’s what…
As a travel industry doyenne for more years than my fake ID would suggest, I’m no stranger to the distilled essence of the grape, the cactus or the humble potato. I’ve boarded planes vibrating on vodka, wobbling from Wabo and…
