It’s stinkin’ hot in the east. And it’s all rather disgusting, dahrlings. Everyone is sticky. Shiny. And drippy. But not the good kind. I really don’t get that whole sticking it out in the kitchen thing. Like, it’s hot.…
Choice is really overrated, dahrlings. Calls for way too much heavy lifting. What if I make a mistake? Is green really my colour? Does Varadero’s sand sift more softly through my sandals than Cancun’s? Other than the fact that…
So, I’m driving around the airport for my scheduled meeting with Sir Branson and I’m stopped by a very attractive young cop who peers in through my window and yells: “Virgin?” Well…. as you can imagine, I was dumbfounded.…
Pity the men around you, dear Pumpkins. They are in travel – which, as we all know, means they are surrounded by women of a certain age. To assist in smooth business operations and avoid unnecessary emotional pitfalls…
Well, didn’t that just snap the elastic out of Toronto’s panty lines! One minute you’re staring at miles of wire fences and Shazam! the earth moves. Some say the quake was just pre-G20 jitters. Others are talking about 1.1 billion…
You know, Pumpkins, I hate to admit it – but the cost of showcasing Toronto’s unique style to the world has been totally worth it. It never would have occurred to me to go all ‘cold-war era East Berlin’ as…
I admire those plucky soccer fans, Pumpkins. No apologies or pussy-footing in this game. And frankly, that’s the only way to be when you’re blowing your vulvazela till kingdom come. They have no mind to pay lip service to piqued…
Kids think they cleverly invented ‘how r u’ and ‘lmao’. Puh-lease. Baby talk. A mere step above pig latin, umpkinpehs. Try entering the code for two open-jaws with extra luggage allowance in GDS. Now that’s coding. It separates the agents…
The Globe & Mail’s Bert Archer is not impressed with us, Pumpkins. Apparently he wore out his phone keys trying to find an agent to book his tricky business trip. I hate it when that happens. Especially when the guy…
It’s bad enough the world is being polluted with fake Chanel and Prada bags, Rolex watches and cheap saline implants – we now have to contend with a cut-rate cottage country knock off in downtown Toronto. This ‘fake lake’ business…
