Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Lock Him Up
Ivanna Gabbalot

I’m under the couch waiting for the whole thing to blow over, dahrlings ….hmm a little grey pill here. What’s the harm.

Anyhoo, I’m not usually gay, or black, or jewish (a touch trans, perhaps) but holy alternate universe, Pumpkins, what self-respecting non-nazi isn’t terrified this morning?

Doesn’t Washington have little men in white coats? Why haven’t they strapped that lunatic into a straightjacket? (I fear if I say his name, it will make the nightmare real.)

The thing of it is, dahrlings, the twitbury doughman comes by his brand of crazy honestly. He hails from a long line of Trumpturds. What I want to know is, where is the ear-piercing outcry from the rest of Americans? Those tepid reprimands from Republicans about racism being not nice … really? A tsk tsk is the best you got? It’s not like he’s offending our sensibilities by exuberantly passing gas.

And as much as I like to fantasize about his being clobbered by a disabled, African-American man-woman in a yarmulke, it won’t solve anything. As Antonio used to say once we’d started, you can’t stuff the yolk back in the egg. Hatred has been endorsed.


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Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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