Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s A Passenger
Ivanna Gabbalot

Shedding those extra pounds can be such a challenge, dahrlings. With the cost of each extra ounce adding gabillions to the bottom line, lightening the load is Sola Scriptura for airlines.

It’s a notion that escapes the fanatical Gabor Lukacs whose latest foray into airline spankings is taking Delta to task over discriminatory weight practices. Not that I hold anything against an XL body type – some of my favourite husbands were beefy and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. (in fact, there really only was one way to have it. Bellying up to a dirigible has its challenges). But, darhlings, really, how can an obese person fit into a puny pew made for an anorexic starlet? They indubitably need at least a double double set of seats.

Fuel doesn't discriminate between luggage and people. Pound per pound, weight is weight. I don’t like paying for an over-weight trunk when my Paris spring fashion urges got greedy.

I ask you does a pound of clothes weigh more than a pound of fat?  It’s the eternal question women have asked themselves for centuries. That and 'is Gabor Lukacs nuts?'


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Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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