Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Does That Cruise Come With Fries?

ITC packages are no longer packages – they are dynamic. And I hear it’s dyn-o-mite, dahrlings.


On the other hand, mass cruise lines – who used to look down on the lowly all-inclusive – are turning themselves into promo pretzels in an attempt to masquerade as floating land packages. God knows they’re big enough to be an island.


I know what it’s like trying to be something you’re not, Pumpkins. That sense of loathing when you look in the mirror. Floating pontoons where there used to be a dynamically driven chassis. I get it. That’s why I turned all inclusive years ago. (I’ll leave you to ponder that.)


The big lines are tripping over each other with forms of all inclusive styled offers -- most of which are missing the “all” part.


Royal has been encouraging agents to go DIY all inclusive by bundling up drink packages and stuff. Yesterday, Norwegian one-upped the idea by actually packaging the package -- specialty dining, alcohol, pop, shore excursions, internet and service charges under one price. No air. And not much Cancon.


Unlike Celebrity, who made the el supremo effort last year to pay attention to us up here with dedicated air out of Canada. And they’re coming back this year with their own lift out of YHM, YXU, YOW, YQB, YHZ, and YQM.


I’m waiting for the next volley, Pumpkins, when a little ocean will be installed onto a cruise ship. And then they can put a little cruise ship on that ocean ... I keep hurting myself, don't I?

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