Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Girls Rock

Three gold medals for women’s teams in 2 days – Holy Hat Trick, Pumpkins! Canadian girls got rocks. And sticks. And sleds. Who’s Bob? Those puppies should be called Bertasleds.

Good god, people - this just in! A gold and a silver in skicross! What are they putting in our tampons? Have you seen skicross? It's like a roller derby on snow. That stuff is slippery.  

Move over, boyos, women got this one. They’ll be talking about yesterday’s Canadian gold medal hockey game long after the Cherry bites it. Even a non-sportif like me knows that 3 on 3 in overtime is the stuff of legends. (I once went 2 on 2 at half time, but I don’t think it counts).


No pressure on men’s curling and hockey today, eh! To top it off, the yanks have upped the ante by saying the losing hockey team’s country has to keep Bieber. Now that’s below the padding, dahrlings. Men scare easier than girls – it’s called a guy thing. That’s why they have man caves. I’m not entirely clear on the process, but I believe that smoking cigars and swearing with other travel men restores a sense of internal balance. God knows I’m nothing if not experimental, Pumpkins. Tonight I plan on using OJ basement headquarters to down a few scotches with dinkettes. Maybe smoke something. I’m calling it T.W.A.T. [Travel Women All Twisted].


 


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