In the family fun department, Pumpkins, the Danes are onto a fab new tourism concept. It goes something like this: shoot a baby giraffe in between the eyes, then skin and butcher it into lion size chunks in front of a crowd of onlookers. Top off by serving the limbs and such to the hungry cats. Love it? Bring the kiddies!
A spokesperson for the zoo said “We were surprised” that the “event” caused a bit of an uproar since the giraffe was inbred and its semen of no use. That does explain it. Murder and mutilation apparently being of no consequence when it comes to the animal kingdom. (Just as well, since I could name a few in the human kingdom who’s semen flow should have been nipped way before it budded.)
Then there’s the mega-attraction of the infamous Denmark Dolphin Slaughter – a different kind of beach vacation. For those who enjoy water sports, there is of course that cove in Japan where stress relief comes in the form of harpooning the Taiji dolphins.
The Canadian Tourism Commission ought to consider changing their comparatively dull “Keep Exploring” concept to something along the lines of “Keep Killing” (the alliteration is kind of nice too.) Apparently it’s a real crowd pleaser. Polar bears, beavers and a moose could be slayed right out in an arena and then eaten by something quintessentially Canadian like wolves or rabid crack-binging mayors.
On a more uplifting note, Pumpkins, “QUEBEC SAIT FAIRE!!” If it weren’t for the fearless determination of our frères et soeurs in La Belle Province, we would not be in top medal standing at the Olympics, mes amis. Mon pays ce n’est pas un pays, c’est l’hiver….
