Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Don't Point That Thing At Me

My eyes are not what they used to be, dahrlings. I was very excited to read “Critical Shopping Spree East Of Toronto” last week and dashed right off for hot deals in Scarborough (you’d think that would have been my first clue that I misread.) Shootings should really not be referred to as “sprees”. Could happen to anyone.

In any case, the whole affair got me to thinking about a different time. A time when shooters took pride in their work. When there was respect. If Uncle Ivanov hired a pro for a job, it was done clean. Up close and personal like. Bingo, bango.

The gang rank amateurs nowadays running around half cocked with their guns blasting are dangerous. If you witless hoodlums insist on pulling your pistols, learn to a-i-m. And if that’s too challenging for your underdeveloped gonads, try getting a tiny bit closer to the mark. Honestly.

And speaking of being on target, Jason Sarracini has skillfully landed his business in TorStar’s arsenal. The newspaper holding company has bought Target Vacations as part of Jaunt.ca – which Mr Sarracini is now General Manager of. Now that’s a hot sale.

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