Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Beware The Frankentrekkers!

There is something hideously deviant going on in travel, Pumpkins.

A lab in Asia is incubating live tourists. I got a press release about it! A company called the Future Laboratory is “breeding luxury travellers across Asia”. There obviously aren’t enough high end consumers, so these frustrated marketers are spawning what they call ‘tribes’ of marauding rich tourists. It’s diabolical.

Be on the lookout for these creatures:

• Status Hunters: Aaggh! “They seek (aka 'hunt') brands who offer ‘behind the scenes’ glimpses”

• Young Guns: “are online aware and affluent” (Ya, and what about the guns?)

• Luxe Pack: “they travel in packs” (Need I say more?)

• Single Saris: “are on the move, spawning an all-female travel industry” (You see what I mean? They’re coming….)

• Green Shoots: (These were obviously harvested from Solient Green leftovers) “they lead the environmentally sensitive and culturally aware travel movement” (I bet they do)

One can't help but wonder, my little zombies, why body parts are being sent to our own Government. Coincidence?

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