I’ve endured a 10 year sentence of Open Jaw, Pumpkins. June 21st 2001, the two numb nuts over here thought they would change the world by pushing a button. “We’re Live! We’re Live!”… “How many hits now?” ... ”What about now?” No wonder I drink.
Even criminals get parole for good behaviour. And lord knows, for 10 years I have certainly behaved in this Pepto Bismol hell hole. I’m not saying any of it was good behaviour – but there has certainly been plenty of it.
Gawd, I remember when those two frumps got the idea that people of consequence would take them seriously. I told them to lose ten pounds and buy a dress. They’ve been sharing it ever since. I’m not saying they’re weird, just ask the staff.
I suppose it’s not their fault they’re so big – you really can’t expect much with their breeding. I try to be kind. I’ve suggested binding their feet at night. Whaat? You don’t often find shoes that size.
In some ways I feel they are grown up now. At times I can even find those large foreheads somewhat endearing. I suppose that’s what people who are sending flowers and cards see in them. Otherwise I can’t explain it.
Congratulations Open Jaw!
Please don’t make me do this for another 10 years.
