Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Dang Nab It! Liberals!

Harper tossed out 2 suspected Liberals from a Conservative rally on Monday. It took some sleuthing, but his crack security team uncovered the infiltrators through incriminating evidence – a Facebook picture of the two poli-sci students embracing Ignatieff. Imposters!!!

I thought Conservatives knew each other by scent or displays of paranoid obsessive compulsive syndrome or something. Don’t they at least have a secret handshake so this kind of security breach can be avoided? There’s no telling what kind of leaks may have occurred. 

And speaking of leaks, c’mon airlines! A strip of fuselage separating itself from de plane - mid flight! Passengers scare easy enough as it is. The prospect of getting sucked out of a plane on the way to visit Grandma is the last straw of a rickety haystack atop a herniated camel.

And since we are marrying planes and politics – here is some air trivia for you politicos:

  • Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff's campaign jet, leased from YYC’s Enerjet – has been dubbed UnnecessAir by accompanying journalists based on the generally accepted perspective on this election
  • Jack Layton’s plane, leased from AC, is referred to as Hipster Air on account of his recent surgical procedure
  • And Harper's 2010 jet, also leased from AC – has been nicknamed Scaremong Air by the barely tolerated on board press.

    (no explanation required)

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