Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Who's Foolin' Who?

I have to admit, dear dahrlings, I really don’t understand retail. You sell a bunch of suppliers, but take orders from one -- the one that owns you. [OK, not all of you have been assimilated. But, it’s only a matter of time. Resistance is futile.]

It’s like a real estate broker owned by a condo developer. I’m thinking he could be a little biased, no? Or like when my pharmacist tried to wean me off valium. He said it was making me paranoid, but I know it was a plot by that pharmaceutical firm that bought the drug store. You just can’t trust drug dealers anymore. What was that noise?

Call me a sentimental fool, but should consumers really trust us, Pumpkins? Did we miss the opportunity to be their agent because of our addiction to commissions? Who’s foolin’ who?


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