Well Pumpkins, another annus horribilus in the travel industry is drawing to a dramatic close, with Russian travellers laying a beating on hapless airline employees, Canadians languishing on the tarmac at JFK and what appeared to be early 19th century serfs trying to clear the taxiways at LHR with brooms.
Yes, it’s time to pull the slide and say ‘Later Slater’ to a year of hissy fits, X-rated body scans and security pat-downs not previously seen outside a massage parlour. Never before has my junk felt so touched.
It’s been a deliciously disastrous year for your faithful correspondent, whose fevered imagination couldn’t have come up with half of 2010’s demented deviations. The amazing thing is that people even left their houses, much less set off on global journeys. In a travel setting where body scanners were more likely to kill you than terrorists, ash clouds filled the skies and cabin crews would just as easily walk off the job as waddle down the aisle of a plane aiming their service carts at stray elbows.
Nowhere is safe, especially now that Egypt has informed us that the Israeli secret service is training sharks to attack swimmers in Sharm el Sheikh. I’ve tried gazing into the crystal ball to give you a heads-up for 2011 Pumpkins... really I have, but all I see is snow.
I guess we’ll just have to take it as it comes, which is always my favourite way.
Happy New Year Dahrlings!
