Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

'Honey, I told you to take the Dubai connector.'

“We would have been there by now!”

Well, Pumpniks, aren’t the sheiks of united Arabic just sitting chic this week. Looking out over their expansive, arid runways; ready to land a nice dry Airbus in sunny style, with onward connections to anywhere.

While the Brits and French wipe omelette off their burning cheeks. Wouldn’t you love to overhear the phone messages from BA chairman Martin Broughton to the cash rich LHR airport authority? “I told you 3 de-icing machines will not be ‘jolly good’, you tut-tutting sack of stale tea!” “And by way, instead of first class tickets for you and the Mrs. this year, I’ve bought you a snow shovel. Merry up your assmas.”

The frightfully sad part is it’s all so unnecessary. Unlike volcanoes, snow is a predictable sort of thing. Describes my second and third husbands to a T. One would erupt without warning, while the other was a veritable cumulous cloud with noticeable vertical development. I mean, let’s face it, you knew what was coming.

Ah well. Over on this side of the pond we have our own storm brewing with Travelport and AA bickering like an old couple – He did it first! No way, I’m only thinking of the children! Well, thank you very much – but no matter how dirty or clean you guys fight, the travel agents end up with the mess.

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