This Just In... for your holiday Monday entertainment...EYJAFJALLAJOKULL
by Dave Heron

Dave's dispatch on the ash cloud issue didn't make his editorial deadline. He says it was only recently found in his lost luggage. Now that it has been unearthed, his historic account cuts through some of the mystery still shrouding last spring's event.

If it looks familiar- it's because you think you've seen it over the years in your Optometrist's office. Unfortunately those plagiaristic Icelanders also chose to name a fairly active volcano of theirs Eyjafjallajokull.

When it erupted on the evening of April 14th, it wasn't until the following day that airspace over the U.K. and parts of Europe began to shut down. Not because there was any evidence of danger to flight operations mind you - it just took everyone that long to understand what the Icelanders were actually trying to say when they spewed out the word Eyjafjallajokull.

"Speedbird 102 - this is Keflavik Center - be aware of ash plume at flight level 310."

"Roger that Keflavik - have you a defined sector for the plume?"

"Speedbird 102 - Eyjafjallajokull."

"Ah - say again Keflavik - sounds like you've something stuck in your throat."  

As the severity of mass amounts of volcanic ash invading the upper atmosphere began to clog most of the airways used to and from Europe, airports one by one began to shut down and by midday April 16th, the only things flying were the accusations of "who's responsible for this mess?"

By April 17th there were hundreds of thousands of passengers milling around airports with no way to get to wherever it was they'd planned and little hope flights might resume in the days to come. 

By day 3, stories of people taking $5,000 cab rides from Vienna to Paris were all over the news and "experts" from every corner of trade and tourism began to weigh in on the wisdom of having shut down commercial aviation to an extent that was impacting matters greater than the shutdown following 9/11. In one corner were the engine manufacturers who suggested that running a jet engine through this significant an amount of volcanic ash could in fact dramatically impact the engine's ability to operate, which is of course rather crucial to overall flight safety.

Governments throughout Europe, not wanting 250 tonne aircraft falling from the sky on to stately front lawns agreed that the shutdown, pending either a cessation of the volcanic projectile hurling or friendly trade winds to get the ash moving somewhere else, would remain in place. Airlines, already losing more money than Bernie Madoff  investors, needed to get their planes back in the air as soon as safely possible to do so, and passengers...4 days stuck in an airport speaks for itself.

Only European cab drivers started each day facing east toward Iceland and with their wallets over their hearts, chanted in unison, " Bring it on Big Boy."

At some point on April 20th, the plumes began to subside, the tradewinds headed away from major flight paths, a few aircraft were sent up empty of passengers to test the air quality, and a decision was reached late in the day to more or less resume regular flight operations. By the 21st, some 80% of scheduled flights were back in the air, and passengers ticketed to fly on the 22nd stopped taking their anti anxiety medication.

The backlog, however, was another matter. It's estimated that well over 50,000 flights were outright cancelled during the 5 day Eyjafjallajokull Festival. It's also estimated that despite extra flights put on once things resumed, some 1 million passengers found themselves standing by for the next empty seat on airlines that were running full before the ash hit the fan.

Certainly, some of these simply cancelled their plans, others found alternate ways home, a few continued to brighten the fortunes of European cabbies, but a huge whack of folks were still stranded a very long way from home. The pessimistic foresaw that by the time all passengers and their luggage might make it back from whatever dark corner they'd been held captive in, Hannah Montana would be collecting old age pension and the Toronto Maple Leafs would have won a Stanley Cup.

And as is human nature - everyone was looking for a villain. Passengers who paid $49 for their London to Paris flight are still asking the airlines to reimburse them for the $1000 they spent seeing the sights of Paris while waiting for the dust to settle. Airlines are looking to their various governments for funds to cover the estimated $2 billion cost incurred to their industry over the 5 days.

Cabbies were of course looking for high end accountants and off-shore tax shelters.

And then there's Iceland, whose tourism officials are guessing that luring visitors back to their corner of the world may not pan out too well given that they'll be perceived as the obvious villain of choice.

In looking for ways to deal with events such as this, it's important to review events of the past and to learn from them.

Alaska has had experience with their own volcanic activity in the past, and we caught up with former Governor Sarah Palin the other day at a "Flying Rogue" conference being hosted at The Fun & Gun Club near Anchorage.

"Well - it's the Volcano Season don't ya know?" she informed the 3 participants. "Fer sure ya wanna stay away from those big spews - they're kinda rough on things aren't they?"

Commenting on reports she'd been one of the first to learn of the Icelandic eruption, she said, "I could see that thing  from my house - of course I wasn't sure if it was an eruption or Joe Biden giving a speech, but I knew it was trouble.”

Asked how it was that when in 2009, Alaska's Mt. Redoubt eruption managed to incur minimal  flight disruption, former Governor Palin was quick to point out, "Our maverick pilots are used to this kind of thing - they just look for ash holes and fly straight through ‘em."

Dave Heron is the owner of Pace Setter Travel & Tours in Okotoks Alberta.


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