Hold on to your pancakes, Pumpkins, now they’re after our maple syrup. Yes, those terrorist folk have syrup production in their sights. It’s obviously an evil ploy to break down the very fabric of our society. Our glue. Dare I say it, our identity. At the very least, our breakfast.
To the south of us in Vermont, The Maple Grove Farms people are not taking any chances. They cancelled all factory tours, which will keep out terrorists who plan on infiltrating the facility as a tourist. The thing that always surprises me about these terrorists is they don’t seem very smart. I picture Dum & Dummah standing in front of the country plant scratching their heads… “hmmm… we can’t blend in as tourists during a factory tour, no point in blowing up this puppy. Foiled again!”
We really are lucky such inconveniences as keeping little Cindy out of a syrup factory keeps the world safe. Same with shoe removal, explosive sniffers, bottle bans, body scans, etc. All these little inconveniences that clog our lives, damage the travel industry, cost fortunes, and are a royal pain in the dumkop …
hmmm …maybe they not so dumb.
While we’re distracted with all our security shenanigans, someone’s gonna show up one day with a mother superior uzi and blow this syrup joint. Shoes and all.
