Honestly, things are as dull as a Baptist’s wedding around here, Pumpkins. If it weren’t for bad press releases, there wouldn’t be no news at all. And I use the term ‘press’ very lightly, because when something important does happen – like new regulations - everyone is struck dumb. Ever notice that? Hiding out until everything passes is the PR strategy du jour.
We need a Brit to fly over here and have sex with someone – at least we’d have something to talk about. I know, I know, that’s so last decade. I could fly over there and have sex with someone. Except the only one with really good teeth was shipped to Russia. Chris, dahrling, the whole Stalin thing is totally kink. Do they have a Hilton in Siberia?
Thing is, now that travel has sold out and gone all corporate, it’s all so boring. Nobody can “talk”. Even Porter’s being proper. In the hopes of making it to the ranks of public companies - they are divulging “real” load factors. How yawn. Now take old Michel Leblanc – he knew how to spin a load. There were no shareholders binding his tongue. How can you write a gossip column when you’re dealing with a bunch of corporate pussies and whitewashed PR people?
Maybe I should go public. I can stick an ’L’ in pubic as good as the next guy.
