Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Show Me The Money

Some wacko old people out east are giving away their lottery winnings to charity. Hey! Over here!

Travel should be a charity. Most of us are unpaid volunteers so may as well make it official.

The airlines, on the other hand, are looking like cats that swallowed an entire cargo hold of mice along with their second piece of luggage. Everyone’s load factors are up. Air Canada posted a profit of $327 Million this last quarter. The U.S. carriers keep beating their own records. I haven’t seen number bluster like that since my second husband’s penile enhancement. “Look, Ivanna, look! Another centimeter and I can buy it a little shoe!”

And speaking of weird Mr. Dressup moments, a young Chinese man boarded a YVR bound AC flight from Hong Kong disguised as an old Caucasian. How does that go unnoticed? If I happen to change my eye colour, those eager-beaver airport freaks go postal – metal detector wands are flying and beeping and bomb powder screeners whip out their surgical gloves like they’ve found the Al Qaeda motherload. There’s an imbalance in the universe, Pumpkins.

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