Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I'm Going Nucular

Things are wacked, Pumpkins. When was the last time you didn’t have to reschedule an appointment 2 or 3 times? Everybody’s ADD. I had a guy show up for a meeting at midnight because that’s what his Outlook said. The meeting was for noon, but the AM vs PM thing escaped him. Lucky the looks department hadn’t escaped him or he would’ve stayed on the curb. Waste not, want not.

And don’t get me started on Mother Earth’s shenanigans. It’s obvious she’s pissed as a newt. That poor little Japan is no match for an insanely angry middle-aged woman rampaging around the globe in search of herself. l get it (after my 3rd divorce, the Paris Ritz put me on the No Stay list) – but for Pete’s sake woman, settle down.

It’s bad enough when we have to reroute thousands because of snow and ash and volcanoes and floods. But now there’s an atomic plant itching to blow.

Well I’ve had enough of wacko land. Beam me up a barkeep. Time for an altered reality.

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