Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Did Someone Call Shelley Winters?

With the Poseidon Adventure playing out on high def TV screens all over North America, we have some fires to put out, Pumpkins. Holy Titanic! A couple of rocks and poof, the Med flows into the theatre!

Call me superstitious; but I’m thinking this is not the shot in the bow travel needs right now.

And just imagine what Carnival Corp’s insurance adjuster is facing. Do 11,000 salad forks go under the same column as the 16,000 dessert forks? What’s a used soggy piano worth these days?

This isn’t callousness on my part, it's the sad reality of insurance. No wonder Micky’s pissed at the captain. The fearless Italian who jumped ship before the passengers, blanket over his head, is costing Carnival $85 million in lost earnings for 2012. After they repair the Concordia, I’d change the name. Better yet, sell it to a shrimp trawler off Florida. Passengers are spooked enough.

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