It has been whispered that I’m high-maintenance, Pumpkins, though I don’t know how anyone could get that impression.
High-bred, yes. High-breasted, (with the right foundation garments), OK. High-strung? Perhaps, after all, that is a thoroughbred trait. But high-maintenance? You don’t know from divas dahrlings.
Now the Saudi princess who tried to do a midnight move from a Paris luxury hotel - see today’s Deviation story – that’s high maintenance. After checking in with her entourage of 60(!), this Arabian ex-wife thought she could sneak out on her $7.4 million bill by leaving under cover of darkness. But luxury hotels never sleep dear Pumpkins, and observant staff somehow noticed 60 people slinking through the lobby with jewel-encrusted luggage, clinking cases of premier cru - and I would imagine - likely a leopard or 2.
Nice try sister, but if you’re going to get away with a decadent dash, you might want to trim the retinue. My entourage is much more modest. Two dinkettes and a newsboy are all I need. The rest, from masseuses to man-toys, can be quickly obtained via room service. The drab dinkettes only reinforce my radiance, and the newsboy is invisible, though sometimes useful when I’m in need of a pithy put-down for obstreperous orderlies.
I follow the KISP philosophy – Keep It Simple Pumpkins – and it serves me well. I haven’t paid a hotel bill in years.
