The other day I was minding other people’s business, reading the rumour mail, when out of the PR blue I’m assaulted by a loaded sentence. Slobbery superlatives slap me with: “There’s also a children’s area for savvy stylistas-in-training.” I just manage to hold down my canapé when this puppy flies at me: “the sleek décor delivers an über-contemporary wow factor.” Ouch.
But I suppose we’ve all been there at one time. You walk into a hotel and can’t help but squeal “Oh my gawwd! This place just screams über-contemporary meets wow!”
There was also a line about some spaces being “chic-ly” redesigned. I’m guessing it has to do with the girlfriend getaway market being so hot right now. Either that or Chiclets. I can’t tell.
The thing of it is, Pumpkins, people get paid to do this to me. Quite often, after suffering through the indignities of their adjectival padding, I’m not left with much information. Try this at home. Cut out the “qualifiers” from a product piece. You’ll be left with origami.
Communication is art which should not be left in the hands of hopped-up nincompoops or auto-translators. Korean Air’s ad agency couldn’t locate anyone who writes English good and ran an ad inviting folks to meet the local primitives in Kenya. They pulled the ad yesterday. And then there’s the Fantawild theme park in Iran which is described as “a Chinese Disneyland-style of amusement park dedicated to bring about enjoyment for all the people who visit.” I am so there.
Über-gag-me, dahrlings.
