It’s really no surprise, Pumpkins, that the Dreamliner’s batteries are all wacked. Lithium is a very complex substance. My cousin took lithium for years. And he was wacked.
You’d think that after delaying delivery forever, ("This time it's almost ready. Really. For sure.") the stupid thing would work. “Sorry folks, now that you actually have them, you can’t fly those planes. There’s a little glitchypoo with the batteries.” How embarrassing. (I've had my batteries konk out at the most inopportune moment too, and believe me, it caused quite a little situation.)
But not to worry, dahrlings. The charred lithium battery from the grounded Al Nippon aircraft is being studied. A spokesperson said “It’s not that it is difficult, but that we are not so familiar with it.” There you go. I'm reassured.
Investors are calling it the Nightmareliner. And besides worrying about keeling ships, clients now have the additional fear of batteryless planes.
Perhaps the Dreamliners could just avoid the bipolar route?
