What other dream purchase forces humans to run a gauntlet of brutal torments prior to fulfillment? Other than the services of my 2nd cousin, Mistress Hurtalot.
How do you sell a dream, dahrlings, knowing you’re sending a lamb to slaughter? And that look in their eyes … when they realize they can’t afford business class and will have to sit … at… the baaaack! I hear their wails at night.
Globe & Mail writer Konrad Yakabuski writes on Saturday that he is “filled with dread and foreboding” at the prospect of his next flight saying that “modern air travel makes the Book of Job look like a fairy tale.” Tell me about it, Konny.
Honestly, Pumpkins, do top culinary restaurants hurdle patrons into a little room, elbowing their way through god knows whose sock breath to get to the table 1st? Does buying a new home require you to stand in line, upon line, upon line, all the while berated by underpaid nincompoops in uniforms living out cop fantasies? (And not the good kind.)
And it’s only getting worse, dahrlings. Pretty soon our knees will be under our chins. (Although, not a position I’m unfamiliar with, I couldn’t hold it for more than 2 to 3 hours. Depending.)
The bottom line is, Pumpkins, when prices were high and less people travelled – not only did we all make money, we didn’t have to deal with commoners mucking up the airplane.
I rest my case.
