Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Who's Going To Peel My Grape?


The great airplane divide has never been wider, dahrlings.

The shuffle of shame through Business Class will seem like a red carpet walk after Etihad and Emirates finish building their 3 room onboard suites. It's no longer a thin curtain dividing us, it's a stairway to heaven.

Can you imagine sitting in the middle row, at the back of the bus, knowing that upstairs, stretched out on a full size bed, lay other humans, better humans, feasting on peeled grapes and foie gras after showering in their private [read: not shared] lavatory. Oh the joy of it! The pure exquisite “Pbbth! You losers!” emotional bliss it would bring. Ya, bite me. Ha ha ha.. I’ve got a bed. Oh… ha.

I ache for it.

There was a time, Pumpkins, when my implants were firm and my legs were bendy – I probably would have been on someone’s arm up those stairs. And on their knee soon thereafter. Or mine. No matter, it was all good.

They’ll have to post a guard at the bottom of those stairs to keep me from storming the joint.

 

 

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