Finding good staff is a constant struggle, dahrlings. I know. Young ones don’t care. Old ones are … old.
Fear not. New staffing strategies are emerging daily. Take Apple and Facebook, for instance. In order to attract best of breed employees, “Silicon Valley CEOs are getting creative in their attempts to bolster gender diversity in the workplace” by freezing their female’s eggs. With their ova safely frozen, women don’t have to worry about having children until they’ve maxed out their tech potential. Talk about thinking outside a woman’s box.
They figure it will attract more girls to the tech world. “Good morning young ladies. How would you like it if we froze your eggs so you can be a super geek?” Chicks will be all over that.
Think of the possibilities. I’d like my face frozen please. (There’s only so much Botox can do, dahrlings) Cryogenically frozen Bureau brain for future airline development. Friisdahl semen to propagate the line. Hunter hair. And various parts of Vanessa’s torso I will leave to your imagination.
And speaking of frozen brain cells, this catchy subject line dropped into my email today: “Amadeus unveils vision of dynamic, intelligent global travel ecosystem to unlock $130bn in revenues for airlines by delivering a richer experience for the traveler.” As you can imagine, I couldn’t wait to read the actual email. Talk about having your head so far up your inbox you’ve forgotten that someone has to read this twaddle.
