Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Tagging Weighty Matters
Ivanna Gabbalot

The media is desperately boosting AC's carry on crack-down
into an issue, Pumpkins. (So much so, one of the Dinkettes here ended up on the
CBC. Live. Talk about making a mountain out of a knob.)

Have you seen the kind of baggage young ladies carry these
days? It definitely ought to be tagged and checked. Flesh is the word.
It's oozing out of their pants, their tops and their shoe straps.

Never mind the extra weight, the stuff they are strutting is
lethal. Those ludicrous booty implants of
Niki Minaj's burst during a performance last year. I say tag her rear with a
'dangerous goods' bumper sticker. And God knows what enhancements the
Kardashians have had. For all we know, there could be a whole other family
member sewn into their backsides.

I miss skinny. There was so much less of everything. Less
toting, bagging, zipping and hauling. I can't blame Air Canada for doing their
part to constrain the bulge. Because frankly, Pumpkins, getting my overhead bin wacked by someone's overstuffed bits is getting old.

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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