Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

What’s Colour Got To Do With It?
Ivanna Gabbalot

Someone
sent me an email showing a frustrated looking Sikh saying “Hey, Dude! We're the
7-11 guys, not the 9/11 guys!”

That
says it all, doesn’t it? We westerners really are such a dim lot when it comes
to skin colour and head coverings. If scarves and a tanned hide had any
relationship to psycho tendencies, all of California would be locked up. Now
those are scary people. And they’re after our water!

Through
all the horrors of the last month, pumpkins, I never tired of hearing our
leaders tell us to “remain vigilant”.
 It
sounds as useful as my babcia’s advice to never go home with a
six-fingered
Albanian real-estate developer. (Sage advice which has served me well, I can
tell you. Whew!)

Frankly,
dahrlings, I’m really not sure what is to be gained by my remaining in a state
of vigilance, other than ulcers.
(I
can just see the notice running through Isis strongholds “Stop all murderous
plans! Ivanna is on alert!”)

There’s
really only one thing to be done in the face of worldwide hopelessness (besides
drinking copious amounts of cheap vodka) – keep travelling. 

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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