Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Itchy Business
Ivanna Gabbalot

Two major airlines have refused to let passengers board over concerns about rashes.

Holy bushwhack, Batman! You can’t board a flight cause of a rash? What’s next? Dandruff? Halitosis? In my experience, half the plane would be denied boarding.

Honestly, Pumpkins. A rash can happen to anyone. Especially if you’re the active type. Some outdoor rock mounting once lead to such a bad case of poison oak around my sapling that a rash wouldn’t begin to describe it. More like Vesuvius erupting over the Grand Canyon. Talk about your tender loin.

It’s all Trump’s fault, dahrlings. I scratch my head to think that someone whose face looks like rash sat on it, with nuts for brains and squirrel nest on his scalp – whose vitriol includes telling his rabid mob to shoot his opponent – is Presidential material to not just an army of gun-toting "burn the witch" hysterics, but some actual sentient beings.

He’s kicking up so much fear, we’ll be glad for the good old days when some fluid and an itch was all that kept you from boarding.

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

You may also like
Industry Partners Support ACTA Summit with Prizing and Sponsorships
ACTA has announced the grand prizes for the 2024 ACTA Summits, which include Air Canada, Riverside Luxury Cruises, CroisiEurope Cruises, and ...
Air Canada ‘Committed’ to Avoiding Strike, Offers Flexible Rebookings
Air Canada says it’s determined to reach a deal with airline pilots, but is introducing a flexible rebooking policy to ensure ...
Alaska Declares State of Emergency After Deadly Landslide
Emergency crews in Ketchikan are preparing for further landslides following a fatal incident that claimed one life, injured three, and caused ...
Direct Travel Advisor Sue Pechtel Celebrates 50 Years in Travel
Last week in Edmonton, Direct Travel advisor Sue Pechtel celebrated her 50th anniversary in the travel industry with around 90 friends, ...
pilots stand in solidarity at person airport
Ratcheting Up: Hundreds of Air Canada Pilots Picket
Air Canada pilots took part in major picketing action across the country on 27AUG as they attempt to pressure the airline ...

Talk Back! Post a comment: