Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

The Theory Of Relativity
Ivanna Gabbalot

My goodness, Pumpkins, she may look like Trump’s head squirrel chews her hair at night, but make no mistake, that Kellyanne Conway is a sparky little firecracker. If we’d had heralternative facts’ back in my day, dahrlings, things might have turned out differently for many a nasty woman. Oh, the possibilities!

“Slept with your husband? That’s an alternative fact!”

“Multiple choice questions, by their very nature, embody alternative facts. I deserve 100% on that test.”

“You alternative-facting SOB!”

I notice New Leaf moved at the speed of light in espousing this Trumpian Theory of Relativity. After all the foofaraw surrounding the launch of their not airline, not sold through travel agents, the service cancellations (in the alternative world "schedule changes") have been mounting. But not to worry, dear Pumpkins! This is not a repeat of all the other actual airlines that litter the Canadian travel graveyard.

Thankfully, there is alternative information to detract from all that nasty news. A self-congratulatory press release from New Leaf has announced the “major achievement” of transporting over 150,000 people in the last 6 months.

 Is that crowd of 150,000 people the largest ever to attend the inauguration of a not airline?

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

You may also like
pilots stand in solidarity at person airport
Ratcheting Up: Hundreds of Air Canada Pilots Picket
Air Canada pilots took part in major picketing action across the country on 27AUG as they attempt to pressure the airline ...
Globus Family of Brands Expands Canadian Sales Team
The Globus family of brands is strengthening its Canadian sales team by appointing BDMs Gina Goranson in the west and Elaine ...
Direct Travel Advisor Sue Pechtel Celebrates 50 Years in Travel
Last week in Edmonton, Direct Travel advisor Sue Pechtel celebrated her 50th anniversary in the travel industry with around 90 friends, ...
Industry Partners Support ACTA Summit with Prizing and Sponsorships
ACTA has announced the grand prizes for the 2024 ACTA Summits, which include Air Canada, Riverside Luxury Cruises, CroisiEurope Cruises, and ...
Cruise Boom Driven by Need for Ease, Despite the Price
While segments of the travel industry are talking about a slowdown, cruise lines have increased prices and still see record numbers, ...

Talk Back! Post a comment: