Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Lock Him Up
Ivanna Gabbalot

I’m under the couch waiting for the whole thing to blow over, dahrlings ….hmm a little grey pill here. What’s the harm.

Anyhoo, I’m not usually gay, or black, or jewish (a touch trans, perhaps) but holy alternate universe, Pumpkins, what self-respecting non-nazi isn’t terrified this morning?

Doesn’t Washington have little men in white coats? Why haven’t they strapped that lunatic into a straightjacket? (I fear if I say his name, it will make the nightmare real.)

The thing of it is, dahrlings, the twitbury doughman comes by his brand of crazy honestly. He hails from a long line of Trumpturds. What I want to know is, where is the ear-piercing outcry from the rest of Americans? Those tepid reprimands from Republicans about racism being not nice … really? A tsk tsk is the best you got? It’s not like he’s offending our sensibilities by exuberantly passing gas.

And as much as I like to fantasize about his being clobbered by a disabled, African-American man-woman in a yarmulke, it won’t solve anything. As Antonio used to say once we’d started, you can’t stuff the yolk back in the egg. Hatred has been endorsed.

Ivanna Gabbalot

Columnist

Part legend, part myth, all woman: Ivanna Gabbalot is OJ’s gossip columnist and considers herself the industry’s conscience. Equally annoying to Open Jaw management and inflated egos in C-suites everywhere, Ivanna works infrequently, preferring to snipe from the sidelines.

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