June 01, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Open Jaw & Insert Foot

Pumpkins, it’s been an absolute fraternity since we’ve given out a coveted Open Jaw Insert Foot Award. But fear not! Etihad has opened its maw so wide, you could park a whole Airbus in there in addition to a foot.…

May 24, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Test

Content

May 19, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Scrappy Ways

Well, well, well … I do love a man with a bit of metal in his moxy, dahrlings. Some pewter in his peter. A speck of brass in his bellicose. But I’m not sure it belongs in the legislature. Yes,…

May 16, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Speaking In Tongues

Today much of Europe is shut down, Pumpkins, because 2000 years ago 12 dudes spontaneously spoke in foreign languages. [For those pagans out there, don’t feel bad. Apparently it’s Pentecost Monday — the day when the holy spirit descended upon the apostles. Who…

May 04, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

It's Pumpkin Day!

Dear pumpkins, I feel humbled on this day of days. May 4th is Travel Agent Day and as Trump says ‘we will celebrate bigly.’  Telling someone where to go in exchange for money is one of the oldest and most…

April 26, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s A Passenger

Shedding those extra pounds can be such a challenge, dahrlings. With the cost of each extra ounce adding gabillions to the bottom line, lightening the load is Sola Scriptura for airlines. It’s a notion that escapes the fanatical Gabor Lukacs…

April 06, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Now For Something Completely Unrelated

We’re covered in snow and it’s not funny. As I told the over-eager Chihuahua hounding me at closing time last night: “Too little. Too late.” Now beat it. If only it were that easy to get the ice off my…

March 28, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Smarty Pants Is How Smarty Pants Does

Not that I haven’t been known to stretch the truth, dahrlings. Spin some wool. Rattle a tale. And maybe that 5 star hotel I sold you didn’t have the very best view in Paris. And perhaps that isn’t, strictly speaking,…

March 15, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

There’s Money In Them Waters

Holy safety harness, Pumpkins, there is some serious cash being floated in cruising. I think the people running the biz got hold of Trump’s ad budget and decided to put it to better use. It was recently discovered that Kevin…

March 08, 2016
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Celebrating International Women

It’s international women’s day, Pumpkins, and I’ve been asking myself if I know any international women — besides Kim Catrall, of course. To think that Justin Trudeau’s mother went on to become that beacon of lust in Sex in The…