As many of you know, I have been on an extended sabbatical in India, dahrlings. My guru, as I call him, (he really is the best plastic surgeon ever!), has had his hands full of superfluous skin hanging from my chin, my…
Holy Macy’s Sample Sale, Pumpkins! Travel companies are flying off the shelves like size 2 Puccinis. My head is spinning. I thought it was a bad CBD batch, dahrlings. Truth is, I don’t like change. When Albert moved the couch…
I’m all for liberating women, dahrlings. And I love the way everyone’s decided it should happen one day a year. Any more than that could upset the delicate gender balance men rely on to feel their prowess. Personally, Pumpkins, I’ve…
For decades, Pumpkins, we dealt with all manner of handsy Brits crossing the pond to run the Canadian travel landscape. Signature, NALG, Thomas Cook, even iTravel for a time. Since allegiance to the Queen is part of our national psyche,…
I feel for the airlines, dahrlings, I really do. An FA can’t tie his shoelaces without it turning into a mid-air gotcha. Fly a mile in their shoes, why dontcha, and see if you don’t want to decapitate 23B. But…
I am against time, Pumpkins. Time is an evil force which sags faces, enlarges midriffs and destroys joints. It is the number one killer among older people. Not to mention what it does to one’s well-earned sense of superiority. Where…
Dear Pumpkins, I have some things to say, so I’m just going to say them. One. The Bloating Of PR Is Killing The Trade Rag If suppliers continue to bankroll pushers of free publicity (commonly known as “PR people”) there…
Pumpkins, my head is spinning like I downed a litre of Babcia’s nalewka – 90 proof with a bit of blueberry for colour. The fumes alone will fry your fresh pink liver to molten Hawaiian lava. I know you supplier…
I’m given to understand, dahrlings, that last night a confluence of forces that included ‘bed’, ‘open jaw video camera’ and ‘Jean-Marc Eustache’ were at play in an area no bigger than a hotel room. I don’t make this stuff up, my little…
Rumour has it, Pumpkins, that a certain someone is jumping ship and moving their career inland. And I will tell you, my little belugas, I did not see this one coming. Dana Gain will apparently no longer sell like a Norwegian.…
