Holy souvlaki, Pumpkins, the news from Celestyal Cruises just keeps getting better and better. It’s like an Aristotelean conundrum wrapped in a pita. The latest in a series of gall scratching proclamations has the Greek cruise company, who recently hasn’t…
I remember fondly as the late Mr. Gabbalot The 3rd would come home saying “Dahrling! We made absolute gobs of money!” … and before I could bolt down the street in search of a new Birkin, he’d add “but we…
Is it just me, dahrlings? I never thought I’d say that, much less think it, but is fashion going too far? I strapped on my computer the other day, and frankly Pumpkins, it’s not me. I’m predicting that the wearable…
WooHoo! It’s Ivanna Gabbalot Day!! I knew it! I knew the day would come! You wait your whole life for something like this. Worldwide recognition of how truly, incomparably, supremely, consummately fabulous you are – and then, Badang! Is the…
BA’s Canuck Quiz I hereby award the 2015 Open Jaw Insert Foot Award to British Airways. They so desperately want to appeal to us Canucks, dahrlings, they are wielding anti-American sentiment like a case of 2-4. Canadian billboards have slogans…
Don’t you just love being chased, Pumpkins? It’s been a while … but I recognize the signs. That look of longing … the slurred speech … and, just before the lights go on, the fumble for a cheap flight… Sometimes…
Don’t you love that scene in the Sound of Music, Pumpkins, where Maria Poppins sings to a hunky duke that she “must have done something good” for him to want her? It’s enough to bring a nun to her knees.…
The travel personals ad reads like this, dahrlings: Tour Op Seeks Airline Single young tour op with an urgent need to mate. I love long flights across the U.S., counting margins in the moonlight and the quiet anxiety that grips…
Pasty white Torontonians are emerging from condos all over the city – squinting at the light and shuffling in a winter lobotomized daze. “What is that? Is that heat?” Peeling off the layers of cashmere, they blindly stumble towards …“I…
It’s absolute bedlam aboard aircraft, Pumpkins! Reports of wild drunken behaviour are coming in faster than a 747. And I’m not even talking about the flights I’m on. Smokers are puffing in the loos. Flights are punctuated with Punch-a-pilot episodes.…
