Men are reclaiming their penises, Pumpkins. A book entitled The Life and Times of the Penis, relates the torrid relationship of man to member. It was only a matter of time, dahrlings. The ubiquitous image of the defamed phallus…
It’s really no surprise, Pumpkins, that the Dreamliner’s batteries are all wacked. Lithium is a very complex substance. My cousin took lithium for years. And he was wacked. You’d think that after delaying delivery forever, (“This time it’s almost ready. Really. For sure.”)…
Bruce Bishins died on January 16, 2013 on the occasion of his 62nd birthday. I remember many occasions, Pumpkins, when Bishy and I lay back with a smoke, exhausted from a heated night of debating. We didn’t see eye…
Here we go again, media shots everywhere of the poor old Concordia, still looming like a beached whale off the coast of Italy for the entire world to see. If I keel over, Pumpkins, promise you’ll throw a tarp over…
I’ve been called a lot of things in my day, Pumpkins, but never a PANK. Although it sounds like something that comes in black or beige, crotchless or not, and impossible to remove without a forklift –being a PANK apparently makes me highly prized…
I think it’s just marvey that aboriginal peoples want Canadians to stop idling. It’s such a filthy habit. Who wants to breathe all that unnecessary exhaust? Especially in summer when I’m trying to be seen at a Yorkville terrace.…
I’ll tell you what’s new. Everybody’s reinventing, rejigging, circum-figuring and circum-resizing themselves. It’s normal. It’s what one does at such momentous time line conjunctures – while waiting for hockey to return. My own navel gazing has fruited Pussycats for…
Yes, Pumpkins, I’m primed, greased and raring to see the back side of 2012. The infernal thing just won’t end. And even the end wasn’t to be. Those Mayans were onto something, though, besides inventing hot chocolate belly shots…
Transat snitches snatched the opportunity to hurt their own company, Pumpkins. They blabbed about accounting issues, bad management and fashion crimes. For shame. I remember when there was a code. Even back in the days of bosses boinking in the…
Honestly, dahrlings… don’t be selling me no cream cheese when you don’t have any cows in the stable. Just a bunch of bulls. WestJet is calling for a female quota system – they are campaigning to get more women…
