BA’s Canuck Quiz I hereby award the 2015 Open Jaw Insert Foot Award to British Airways. They so desperately want to appeal to us Canucks, dahrlings, they are wielding anti-American sentiment like a case of 2-4. Canadian billboards have slogans…
Don’t you just love being chased, Pumpkins? It’s been a while … but I recognize the signs. That look of longing … the slurred speech … and, just before the lights go on, the fumble for a cheap flight… Sometimes…
Don’t you love that scene in the Sound of Music, Pumpkins, where Maria Poppins sings to a hunky duke that she “must have done something good” for him to want her? It’s enough to bring a nun to her knees.…
The travel personals ad reads like this, dahrlings: Tour Op Seeks Airline Single young tour op with an urgent need to mate. I love long flights across the U.S., counting margins in the moonlight and the quiet anxiety that grips…
Pasty white Torontonians are emerging from condos all over the city – squinting at the light and shuffling in a winter lobotomized daze. “What is that? Is that heat?” Peeling off the layers of cashmere, they blindly stumble towards …“I…
It’s absolute bedlam aboard aircraft, Pumpkins! Reports of wild drunken behaviour are coming in faster than a 747. And I’m not even talking about the flights I’m on. Smokers are puffing in the loos. Flights are punctuated with Punch-a-pilot episodes.…
That dahrling Senator Ruth is so right to be absolutely outraged, Pumpkins. Frankly, I’m aghast. That we taxpayers expect a sitting senator to settle for “ice cold camembert” for breakfast on an airplane is … well … goodness. Is there…
We are in travel, dahlrings. We don’t use the C-word in print or in thought. It’s so ingrained, that even if it means screwing ourselves up into a pompous pretzel in front of news cameras — it is utterly verboten…
The airline business is littered with tales of woe – as we all know – but none I would qualify quite so pathetic as Jetlines’ attempt to fly. The entry requirement for launching a new airline used to call for…
Apparently we don’t perform, Pumpkins. Now that’s an insult I don’t take lying down. My performance – whether standing up, kneeling, or that inverted hanging French horn tableau – is legendary! The thing is, dahrlings, and as much as you…
