As everyone knows I will fight for Pumpkin rights until my saline leaks (my sphere of influence is in direct proportion with my cleavage) – so a few desperate retailers have turned to me for help in an egregious case…
This just in… On direct orders from the Government of the United States of America… pizza is declared to be a vegetable. This is not a test, Pumpkins. From now on, when Mrs. Jones reaches for a frozen pie…
Apparently a lot. The united nations of Benetton is saving the world once again, dahrlings. They are urging world leaders to kiss and make up under the banner of UnHate – sort of like UnCola but with feeling. And so…
Former Air Transat founder Francois Legault is starting a political party, Pumpkins. And why not? If you can start an airline, you can start anything. Even an organization bent on rooting out corruption in Quebec politics. Good luck with that,…
Today, Pumpkins, we float among the endless possibilities a convergence of ones presents – or elevens. Either way, it’s a singular numerological syncopation of astronomical proportions. Eleven is a Master Number. Living in the bosom of 3 of them, you…
My dear Pumpkins, If I say ‘the world is crazy’ I imagine hearing a collective yawn. “Tell me something we don’t know, oh Goddess of all things real and imagined”. I think we should occupy something. How about…
It’s like a Greek tragedy Pumpkins. No, not that Greek tragedy. That one’s too predictable. I mean, it’s all fun and games when your underground economy is bigger than the legitimate one, until you realize the government coffers are empty…
Nana Gabbalot was always full of advice (and cheap white wine). One of her recurring themes was “never settle.” In my case, she meant not marrying below my station (and a busy station it was Pumpkins, with trains running in…
One of my fondest memories is accosting Robert Milton wearing only a breast plate. The other breast was flatteringly displayed in a saucer. Well, you can imagine his reaction, Pumpkins. He was shocked, naturally. But he wanted me. His frightened…
I’m perturbed, Pumpkins. Perfuddled. Per pickled. And a little pissed. Someone, somewhere, has reasoned that paying homage to the War of 1812 is worth 30 Million of our tax dollars. By March, the Harperites will have erected fake lakes…
