November 04, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Euro Travel Is Losing Its Zest

It’s like a Greek tragedy Pumpkins. No, not that Greek tragedy. That one’s too predictable. I mean, it’s all fun and games when your underground economy is bigger than the legitimate one, until you realize the government coffers are empty…

November 02, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

An Elephant Never Forgets... And Nobody Else Does Either

Nana Gabbalot was always full of advice (and cheap white wine). One of her recurring themes was “never settle.” In my case, she meant not marrying below my station (and a busy station it was Pumpkins, with trains running in…

October 28, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Warrior Princesses Unite!

One of my fondest memories is accosting Robert Milton wearing only a breast plate. The other breast was flatteringly displayed in a saucer. Well, you can imagine his reaction, Pumpkins. He was shocked, naturally. But he wanted me. His frightened…

October 25, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

You All Don't Come Back Now

I’m perturbed, Pumpkins. Perfuddled. Per pickled. And a little pissed. Someone, somewhere, has reasoned that paying homage to the War of 1812 is worth 30 Million of our tax dollars. By March, the Harperites will have erected fake lakes…

October 21, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Canada Is Number 1?

Jumpin’ beaver tails, Pumpkins. It is statistically proven that Canada has the best reputation in the world (plus or minus .002% points). The reputation institute polled people around the globe who ranked us on trust, esteem and overall warm &…

October 18, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Like A Norwegian. Cruising For The Very First Time!

Gird your rudders, Pumpkins. NCL is in the throes of a branding leap. They have figured out they are Norwegian!! I know. It’s a total WOW. So cross out “NCL” from your Rolodex. The acronym is a dead herring.…

October 14, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Fly Much?

I hope Lisa Raitt doesn’t fly a lot, Pumpkins. If I were her, I’d look into the bus schedule. I’ve seen AC flight attendants in action — and, believe me, those little cart wheels leave quite a welt. Especially when…

October 12, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Let's Giv'em Something To Strike About

It’s like waiting for Fleet’s bowel-prep to kick in — everyone on hold waiting for the action to start. Weeks of threatening and blustering … you can feel it coming. Then Bonnie Raitt steps in – whatever, Lisa — and…

October 07, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Are You Getting Paid By The Yard?

As I flip through my library, I notice so many nice words being put to perfectly good use in books and such. There’s really no need to make the English vocabulary suffer the abuses of your lonely keyboards, dahrlings. …

October 05, 2011
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Aaagghhh! Not Winnipeg!

Did you know, Pumpkins, that Winnipeg is a no go zone akin to Kabul? At least, that’s what AC would have us believe. Apparently there are bands of marauding displaced natives and various unsavouries endangering the lives of flight attendants…