Pumpkins, here is an important travel item you'll want to make note of: Border Services Are Closing Underused Big Beaver Port of Entry.
I've never been to Big Beaver, but I understand it's south of Regina and apparently it isn't getting enough action. Now, some of you might expect me to have a go at the rhyming opportunities offered by Regina - but let me tell you, for the folks stuck in Big Beaver without a port of entry, this is no time for sexual insertions.
Speaking of beavers, has anyone ever seen one up close? That is not a good looking creature. How did it ever merit the privileged position of Canadian national emblem? Seriously. What are they emblematic of? They look like rats on steroids. If that isn't injurious enough, our busy beaver is also widely regarded as a symbol for the female pubis. Did the CTC make both those calls? I thought the whole cat thing kind of worked.
When Russia chose a bear (which, by the way, is a damn site more dignified than a fat rodent) did someone suggest "Hey! Let's wrap up the whole country symbol thing up with a body part. Like maybe a man's butt! Whaddayasay comrades?"
I posit to you, dear Pumpkins, that if Canada had chosen a more noble creature - such as a moose or a standard poodle - it would surely not have ended up flashing itself in Hustler, and our national psyche would not be struggling with an identity issue. I rest my case.
