Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Go Ahead, Touch My Junk!

Dahrlings, is it me? Or has the whole world gone flip floppy? In all my encounters with the male member, I have never met one that didn’t want to be touched. Personally, I think men are afraid it will run away. That’s why they hold on to it at every opportunity.

So then comes some dude who threatens a TSA officer with arrest if they touch his “junk.” Now, an officer in uniform may not be everybody’s idea of a dream date, but what kind of self-respecting male refers to his crown jewels as “junk?” I’ve known a number of penises called “The Rock.” A couple of “Free Willys.” And a “Conan.” But never junk. That fellow has some serious issues – I mean, besides being a bore.

When you’re travelling through a U.S. airport these days there are two choices: submit to an ‘X-Ray Specs’ scan that reveals your junk, or an ‘enhanced’ pat-down that may include a little test tickle. Is there really a choice? Come on men, rise to the occasion -- don’t let a little public fondling get you down.


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