Don’t let your clients be sucked in, Pumpkins. Cut-rate U.S. border airlines are vacuuming up our customers and tossing them out on the edge of towns we’ve never even heard of. It won’t be long before they’ve taken over the country.
Clients think they want a $49 flight from Bellingham to L.A., but, fair warning, dahrlings: cheap, Ryanair style carriers will frighten our precious pax and send them scurrying for cover. We’re Canadian, for Queen’s sake! We’re used to pampering planes with live TV and movies and leather and pill box hats.
Take Vision Airlines – serving Niagara Falls to Destin, Florida for $79. Does anybody know where Destin, Florida is? It’s nowhere really. More like a suburb of Mobile, Alabama than anything you’d call Florida. Fortunately, you can buy an onward connection to MIA for an extra twenty. By the time you’ve added the extras for checking in one piece of luggage, passenger segment fees, facility charges, security fees, PFC (whatever that is), you’re in around $160.
OK, so that’s still ridiculously cheap. But you now have to find a flight. I checked out the schedule and there doesn’t seem to be one. There are flights some days, others not. I found a whole week in December without a single flight to Florida. Maybe they only have one plane.
Point is, these bargain bin vultures threaten to decimate the very fabric of our society. With Buffalo parking lots overflowing with Ontario license plates, how long will it be before we think Timmy’s is the little club foot guy in A Christmas Carol? And ‘eh’ will morph into ‘huh?’. We’ll all turn into gun-toting prudish Alaskan housewives who aren’t smart enough to know we’re, like, gosh, really not.
