I used to love to get my group on. But frankly, Pumpkins, I just don’t have the stamina anymore. And it’s hell on the linens.
Apparently I’m not the only one suffering from group fatigue. I read that Groupon is turning into Groupoff. Not surprising. Cellulite treatments in back alley boudoirs aren’t as popular as they used to be. More importantly, retailers say they don’t get much action beyond the coupons, on top of having to give Groupon a huge split of the sales.
Sound familiar? Travelzoo also left a few suppliers with a thin split after the clicking was over. The difference is that, unlike epilation, people still froth at the sight of a travel Deal of the Day. (whether or not they book is another matter)
Speaking of being caught by the short hairs, did you know that if a woman is ‘legitimately’ raped (i.e. she really, really meant no) she can’t get pregnant? Yes, Pumpkins, U.S. Republicans are reinventing the human reproductive system. Missouri Representative Todd Akin told media that we secrete something akin to spermicide when we’re violated. Holy birth control, Batman! Is it some kind of vaginal venom? Can we eradicate epically ignorant Americans with it? Stand back! I’m packin’ a vagina!
In cases where a woman is impregnated through forced intercourse, Akin posits it could not have been real rape. Just a kind of, sort of, rape. A little one. Admit it, you wanted it.
Someone get this guy a coupon for brains. And you think travel people are unhinged.
