Dear Douglas, I have been a cautious admirer of your work since my neighbour Celia’s martini mixer last June. She went on about you being such a fab “artiiste”, as she puts it, and the only authentic Canadian “thinker”. This…
Jumpin’ horse heads, Pumpkins! Those UAE Sheiks sure aren’t afraid to get out there and play in air traffic. In a Godfather scene stealing move, they are publicly blackmailing the Canadian government for additional landing rights. It’s an interesting tactic.…
I’m mad as hell and so is ACTA. They’re all fired up about some cruise lines’ policies, but they don’t like to name names. I’m mad as hell about that. They remind me of the government. They don’t tell…
What year is this Pumpkins? In the barmy Balkans, apparently it’s 1954, and Hugh Hefner is still chasing chicks with good staple potential. Lithuanians are planning a resort in the Maldives staffed entirely with bouncy blondes and Latvia is asking…
The longest courtship in retail history has been consummated. Yes, Pumpkins, 8 years of rumours have ended with Sears finally getting Cooked. At least that’s the rumour. Gawd, it must’ve felt good to let that one fly. If I’m teased…
Well, my little Pumpkinatrices, time to whip out some leather. Canada has decided it’s perfectly legal. (I actually never knew it wasn’t. Not that it would have stopped me. Most of my husbands deserved a stiletto spanking now and again.)…
Say it ain’t so! Will one of you please open up a bowling alley or something? Oh ya…never mind…a New York Fries franchise…anything! Honestly, darlings, how many consultants does one industry need? There’s practically more of them than us.…
Honestly, things are as dull as a Baptist’s wedding around here, Pumpkins. If it weren’t for bad press releases, there wouldn’t be no news at all. And I use the term ‘press’ very lightly, because when something important does happen…
I’ve finally made it into the ranks of respected mouthpieces, dahrlings. Yes, Pumpkins, I’ve been deep throated. A missive has landed in my inbox which puts me in league with the Bernsteins and Woodwards of this world. In fact,…
I was having a bit of a TIFF tiff with a surly guard dog last night over the A list. Apparently I was not on it. I carefully explained that doors open for people such as I – on the…
