April 02, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Let Them Eat Cake

That dahrling Senator Ruth is so right to be absolutely outraged, Pumpkins. Frankly, I’m aghast. That we taxpayers expect a sitting senator to settle for “ice cold camembert” for breakfast on an airplane is … well … goodness. Is there…

March 30, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

X-Nay On The C-Word, Kay?

We are in travel, dahlrings. We don’t use the C-word in print or in thought. It’s so ingrained, that even if it means screwing ourselves up into a pompous pretzel in front of news cameras — it is utterly verboten…

March 24, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Pass The Pot

The airline business is littered with tales of woe – as we all know – but none I would qualify quite so pathetic as Jetlines’ attempt to fly. The entry requirement for launching a new airline used to call for…

March 18, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Performance Issues

Apparently we don’t perform, Pumpkins. Now that’s an insult I don’t take lying down. My performance – whether standing up, kneeling, or that inverted hanging French horn tableau – is legendary! The thing is, dahrlings, and as much as you…

March 16, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Are We Dense?

Honestly, Pumpkins, I’m getting rather tired of all the accusations of the industry being dim-witted. Transat is going on and on about beingdense. The Huffington Post’s article about robots being better than agents has fingers pointing at what a dumb…

March 09, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I'll Sit This One Out

A darling Pumpkin recently wrote: “Ivanna is strangely silent on AC’s latest move to zero commission on Tango Fares. I was hoping to see a rant from her!” And of course she is right. I have been remiss in stepping…

March 06, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

What Is The Value Of A Willy?

Today’s business cartoon series, Dilbert, depicts the secretary with a pair of scissors aiming to separate a higher salaried male from his man parts. He explains that his penis simply gives him the right to earn more. In Keynesian…

March 03, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

Just Shoot Me

It’s all the rage these days, Pumpkins. If you don’t like someone, pull a Putin and shoot’im. It’s so much more efficient than ‘sharing’. Goodness knows I’ve dodged a few bullets in my day. It’s a wonder no one…

February 25, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I Feel So Secure

I’m pretty sure Harper plans on taking over the tampon industry, Pumpkins. He keeps harping about security and, as we all know from commercials, there’s nothing more important to women than feeling secure. (Makers such as Kotex are on top…

February 19, 2015
Excuse me, dahrlings, but...

I Wouldn't Spar With Qatar

The CEO of Qatar Airways calls it like he sees it, Pumpkins. When asked on CNN about Gulf carriers restricting flight attendants’ weight he said “That is a load of bullshit.” Interesting language for a man called His Excellency…