Oil is such a dirty business, dahrlings. It has the industry over a barrel. If it goes up, we don’t make money. If it goes down, the airlines already bought it for a higher price – so bupkus. I’m…
What do a bunch of random Canadian drinkers in a London pub got that I haven’t got, Pumpkins? I’ll tell you what! Roundtrip AC tickets! Heck, I can drink in a pub. How hard is that? Last year, one…
My Auntie Basia was fond of saying ‘if you look like a cross between Omar Sharif and mini-me, it’s best to tread lightly.’ Some people are wise beyond their abilities, Pumpkins. Riaz Pisani is just such a visionary. Acquiring…
A Turkish Airlines flight attendant has been fired for being too sexy. Honestly, Pumpkins. Is there no end to the persecution desirable women face? Have you ever heard of a man accused of being too … yummy? We sexy…
During a recent bra fitting, the perky little salesgirl pronounced my size as a ’38 long.’ Well, that’s hitting a bit below the belt, I replied. “Not yet, but close,” said the little trollop. It was the last thing she…
The founder of WestJet, Clive Beddoe is embracing life, Pumpkins. He told the Wall Street Journal that “The loss of several friends in recent years makes one very aware of the frailty of life”. And unless you’re still young and…
Calin, Harper and Obama are all over China like a belly on a Buddha. Whether it’s Quantum de-porting itself to Shanghai or AC tying its silk sky hopes on Air China, Asia Pacific is the hemisphere du jour. And…
Interpol has warned CLIA that jihadis “have been travelling on cruise ships”. It just goes to show you that cruising really does have universal appeal, Pumpkins. Although apparently it’s a means to an end for those hearing the call…
You can never be too skinny – Unless you’re an airline seat, dahrlings. Honestly, Pumpkins, the anorexic benches we are being dumped into only compound the horror that has become air travel. A bony knee in my back is…
You hear rumours, Pumpkins, but I’ve never actually met a real spontaneous slapper. Pouring wine for you one minute, punching you in the head the next. It’s such a confusing mating process that many women are struck dumb. And…
