As my Great Aunt Flossy used to say, “You can poke around my orifices, but don’t be touching my hair.” Her beehive was a marvel to behold, Pumpkins. It’s a bloody good thing she isn’t here to see how a…
Dahrlings, today’s hot flash is that an alert has been floated to the airlines. The TSA has apparently raised the red flag for all U.S. bound flights. There’s speculation it’s about explosive devices. Somewhere. I know. It’s a rather…
Talk to me, dahrlings. Are you part of a chain, consortium or other compendium of complicity? Perhaps you’ve just returned from the annual pump up and are all mojo’d for the upcoming season. Awesome. I ask because I’ve caught…
I’m not so sure how I feel about the whole Will & Kate thing, Pumpkins. There’s really nothing regal about a pair of twenty somethings who barely jumped out from under a chicken’s tail. I’m thinking I’ll forego the curtsy…
Crack airport security teams in the states have blown open a case of nappy wearing grannies. It all started when a suspect — a 95 year old woman, Caucasian, approximately 5′ 2″, weighing 105 pounds, wheelchair bound — attempted to…
There’s a big stink in TO today because Mayor Ford won’t march in the Pride Parade. I was sort of looking forward to his fleshy fanny spreading a pair of chaps. (You know what they say about the loudest homophobes…)…
I’ve endured a 10 year sentence of Open Jaw, Pumpkins. June 21st 2001, the two numb nuts over here thought they would change the world by pushing a button. “We’re Live! We’re Live!”… “How many hits now?” … ”What about…
Like all natural and unnatural flows of the universe, Pumpkins, even Facebook’s world domination is waning. Seems the over-socialized cyber organism may have passed its peak. Over-poked the mark, as it were. Over the last two months, six million users…
It’s not enough to have a vacation anymore, Pumpkins. No, no. Our vacations now have to have names. Which basically means you come up with something – anything, really – and add ‘cation’ to it. So far there are…
It’s been twenty years since women displayed Technicolor balls in big screen splendour. Twenty years of Thelma & Louise’s taking to the road on their own. Hiking, exploring, touring through all corners of the world. Hear me roar. I fear…
