Frankly, dahrlings, I’m a little tired of all the professions of avid determination. The ardent avowals of devotion to the cause. The promises of brute resolve to unite – join together as one – culminating in ‘teaching airlines a lesson…
“We would have been there by now!” Well, Pumpniks, aren’t the sheiks of united Arabic just sitting chic this week. Looking out over their expansive, arid runways; ready to land a nice dry Airbus in sunny style, with onward…
The Christmas Spirit is grabbing hold of my eggnog and jingling in news of dancing fairies and nut crackers. (Doesn’t that just describe travel all over?) All 3 of our big 3 are fabulously festive this week, Pumpkins. …
The airlines are making such a fortune with their unbundled à la carte fee grab — picking a seat, checking in, luggage, food, blanket — you’re dinged for even thinking about flying. If that’s the only way to make money…
What is the sound of two fat white rightist males embracing? “RUN!!!!!!” Poor Toronto, Pumpkins. The city has never gotten over not being Montreal. In its latest bid to right itself, Hog Town has leased its future on…
Lock & Load, Pumpkins! The site of a single goosebump sends our dear Canadians scurrying for a deal. They are so predictable. Like a man, really. Show a cleavage bump and he’ll beg for a transaction. It’s easy when…
Don’t let your clients be sucked in, Pumpkins. Cut-rate U.S. border airlines are vacuuming up our customers and tossing them out on the edge of towns we’ve never even heard of. It won’t be long before they’ve taken over the…
I had a leak once. Fortunately it didn’t cause too much damage. Anyway, it’s no state secret that women my age can’t sneeze without pulling the trigger of a little squirt gun. (That’s why it’s so important to empty your…
My dahrling comrades, the travel battle is apparently moving to Russia. How very Doctor Zhivago. TUI and Thomas Cook are aligned on the frozen tundra, Russian allies at their sides, Lara’s theme playing in the background – poised for combat.…
While American Thanksgiving weekend will be a frenzy of patting and groping and peeping, a bunch of Jihadists will be laughing their pants off at what a ridiculous bunch of nincompoops we are. Fear has us travelling without water,…
