Apparently, Pumpkins, there was going to be a revolt. I love revolts. Yelling and marching and bandanas. It’s very cathartic. Down with capitalist pigs! I’m black and I’m proud! DO IN DA MAN!! Whew. Shareholders at this year’s TCook AGM…
You can’t force love, dahrlings. I’ve seen situations where even real jewels didn’t work. And my pleading and drunken phone messages only seemed to aggravate him. Stalking can sometimes work, but it’s an art. But here’s a little advice…
Mattel has seen fit to give the image of the perfect male a voice rather than a penis. That is so the opposite of perfect. Apparently he even tweets. Figures. Like all men, he probably beams with pride about it.…
We are entering a more refined era, dahrlings. According to the Chinese, The Year of The Rabbit should be rather more reasonable than the pugnacious Tiger. Placid, in fact. Which, of course, brings to mind flaccid. So far, I’m not…
Brooding, smoky, dark eyed Cairo. I didn’t stand a chance with that shameless seductress. She had me at ‘Salam wa aleikum.’ Later, Khaled had me. After an evening of great food, laughing people and grinding belly dances – you almost…
I’ve never been big on sharing, Pumpkins. The idea of some little brat pawing at my Barbie’s Valentino still makes me cringe. Never liked little girls. Now the skanks want me to confide my emotions – share with us, Ivanna.…
Yes, Pumpkins, I have it on good authority that Hugh Boyle is wandering around Britain boasting about “acting in a consulting capacity” to Air Atlanta Icelandic. Now, which one of you dear little gourds can tell me what recently launched,…
I heard a bouncy Brad Miron and a genuine Janine Chapman tell the CBC that everything’s going to be alright. Phew. Because I was worried there for a moment that empty hotel lobbies and piles of idle taxies in PVR…
Another low brow knock-off consumer hoover is aiming to win the hearts and minds of Canadians. I’m not referring to Arnie’s speaking tour which is more freak show than business. I’m referring to Target’s invasion – bringing more disposable lead…
Americans can be a wacky lot, Pumpkins. Now they’re on about loaded discourse being at the root of violence. My goodness, if I can’t engage in some cunning lingual acrobatics when I’m a little loaded, you may as well shoot…
